How dad's younger onset dementia changed my career
When people ask me why I love working with people with dementia, I tell them about my dad. He was formally diagnosed with younger onset dementia at 65, but looking back, we noticed the subtle signs a few years earlier. As both his daughter and an occupational therapist, I had a unique perspective on his journey that has shaped everything about how I work with families today - providing therapy and functional assessments for the individual, and Carer's coaching for their support team.
I remember the early days so clearly - watching my dad, a proud local butcher and valued community member, starting to struggle with giving change in his shop. His vibrant personality began to shift, and conversations that once flowed freely became shorter, more hesitant. As a family, we faced challenges I now help other families navigate: the worry when he started having trouble driving, the day he climbed through a window because he couldn't find his keys (giving us all quite a fright!), and the gradual changes in his ability to manage daily tasks, even to simply make a sandwich.
"You have to take each day as it comes," I often tell the families I work with now. "And don't sweat the small stuff." These aren't just professional platitudes - they're lessons I learned firsthand as our family developed what became our motto: "no regrets."
Some of my most precious memories are from our "Saturday Dad days." Even as the dementia progressed, we found joy in simple pleasures - blasting music in the car, taking walks, seeing a movie, enjoying coffee together, or catching the Manly ferry into the city. These experiences taught me something crucial that I share with all my clients: there are always ways to maintain connection and find moments of joy, even as dementia changes the relationship.
What makes dementia care so complex is that you're really supporting two people - the person with dementia and their carer. I watched my mum navigate the changes in her role as dad's wife and then primary carer, and now I help spouses and partners to make the transition to the role of carer. I use my experiences with dad and other families to build sustainable care routines that work for everyone. We were fortunate to have wonderful support workers who gave Mum crucial breaks, and I learned the vital importance of carers looking after themselves - something I'm passionate about teaching in my carer coaching sessions today.
The journey isn't easy - I won't pretend it is. You grieve multiple times: at diagnosis, as personality changes occur, when transitioning to care, and finally at death. But my experience taught me that there can be beautiful moments to hold onto, like holding hands, sharing stories, or just sitting together and being present in comfortable silence.
This personal journey is why I now dedicate my practice to helping families affected by dementia. When I work with clients, I bring not just my 25 years of occupational therapy expertise, but also the deep understanding of someone who has walked this path with their own family. I know the practical challenges, the emotional toll, and most importantly, the strategies that can help maintain dignity, connection, and quality of life for everyone involved.
Whether you're just noticing the first concerning signs or are further along in your dementia journey, I'm here to help with practical solutions, emotional support, and a genuine understanding of what you're going through. Because I've been there - not just as a professional, but as a daughter - and I know that with the right support, families can navigate this journey together.
Want to chat about how we can work together to support you or your loved one? I'd love to hear from you.
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